New York Daily News - http://www.nydailynews.com
An ode to Cheney:
No. 2 with a bullet!

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006

Over the weekend, Vice President Cheney accidentally shot his hunting pal and fellow millionaire, Harry Whittington. We wish Mr. Whittington a speedy recovery. And we wish Mr. Cheney a new hobby. Unlike Annie Oakley of "Annie Get Your Gun" fame, apparently —
YOU CAN'T TRUST A DICK WITH A GUN

(Sung to the tune of Irving Berlin's "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun.")

I'm quick with the buckshot

And you all know the upshot:

Yes, there's blood when the day is done

But here's what is scary —

I meant to hit John Kerry

Oh, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.

When I'm giving orders

Or hiding from reporters

You can bet that I'm having fun!

But when it comes to aiming,

Just call me "Auntie Maim-ing"

Oh, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.

With a gun, with a gun,

No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.

When I was a draftee,

I thought of something crafty:

I told them I had to run.

But now that I'm grown up,

I like to see things blown up

And I may shoot a male on the trail like a quail

So you can't trust a Dick with a gun.

If I go out shootin',

I'm just like Vladdy Putin:

I turn red as the setting sun

But when blood starts a-spurtin',

It ain't at Halliburton

No, you can't trust Dick with a gun.

I'm tough as a marlin

With someone else's darlin'

When the war I insist be won.

But it hurts me a fair spot

To see a millionaire shot,

No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.

With a gun, with a gun.

No you can't trust a Dick with a gun

If you seek reduction

In weps of mass destruction

I believe I can find you one.

Okay, I'm confessin':

It's my sweet Smith & Wesson

'Cause I shoot like a coot and I start wars to boot!

No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.